Steve Wozniak, co-founder of Apple with a net worth of $100 Million, wanted to change the world, not with computers this time, but with vibes.
So he founded a corporation named Unuson (Unite Us In Song).
His goal was to throw a party so massive that it ends the Cold War. He wanted to rock so hard that the Soviet Union would just give up.
He called it the US Festival, as in all of us.
Long story short, Wozniak lost $24 Million in his two failed attempts to save the world.
Nonetheless, millions of viewers in the Soviet Union watched the broadcasts, and the project was considered a technological and cultural success despite its imperfections.
The US Festival was a financial failure but, in Wozniak’s eyes, largely a cultural and technological success.
In other words, he doesn’t care about losing several millions.
Saving The World with PORN!🌍
Apparently,
THERE WAS NO SEX IN THE USSR
I’m about to change that.
Woz had music. I have porn. Same dream, different strategy.
Unlike Woz, I’m will not delegate an American cast to save the world.
No! I will entrust this delicate mission to my two Russian-born PYGOD’s wives.
A sure way to marry North America to Russia.
Keep It Simple Sucker
A name for the festival?
A festival? Nope!
US Festival?
Better ME Festival since all the proceeds of the fundraising will go into my pockets.
Not really a festival. Since there is no live-action required.
Thanks to Woz’s dream—the miracle of technology—this blog post will be more than enough to unite North America and Russia, thanks to the exquisite performances of my two Russian talents.
As reported by the nationally acclaimed journalist Weird Al Yankovic, after the financial debacle of the first two editions, Woz’s third US Festival was supposedly going to be a cassette tape.
What a great idea!
Keeping the classic cassette format of 30, 45, or 60 minutes per side (C60, C90, and C120), what about 30–60 minutes for each Russian peace agent?
Even better, thanks to technology, you won’t be required to buy a cassette.
You just have to tune in here on PYGODswives.com to enjoy over 2 HOURS OF NON-STOP ACTION FOR PEACE!!!
Right here. Right now!
The perfect name for the perfect event.
Porn for World Peace
KONI DEMIKO
SELVAGGIA
The greatest event of all time.
So we can forever live in peace and love.☮️❤️
You can thank me for ending all wars in the comments section.
The Nobel Peace Prize can be mailed at your convenience.
Fundraising for ME
I’m more than aware that without me, none of this would have been possible.
It was a huge responsibility to take on, but somebody had to do it.
To fight wars around the world and distribute porn to the masses, I need capital.
Therefore, a donation of at least 15 bucks—the price of an old cassette tape—would be greatly appreciated.
PAYPAL.ME/PYGOD
Sources:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_Festival
https://www.folklore.org/US_Festival.html?sort=date#:~:text=Woz%20wrote%20a%20sizable%20check,Peter%20as%20the%20executive%20director.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/U.S.%E2%80%93Soviet_Space_Bridge
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_is_no_sex_in_the_USSR
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cassette_tape
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